Red Lobster's Endless Shrimp

Took my special lady, Mrs. Morganobrien.com, out to a first-class meal the other night, at Copaigue's fine dining establishment, Red Lobster. Dear readers, we are in the midst of Endless Shrimp, an event I freaking love.

My relationship with Red Lobster began in Dayton, Ohio, during the 2002 Endless Shrimp event. In Albuquerque, we took things to the next level and virtually every Saturday night included a dinner on the West Side with Casey, David, Mario and the rest of the gang. It pays to be married to me.

(Note to my Albuquerque readers: the lines at the East Side Red Lobster on Menaul are borderline offensive, and they don't have nearly the bar space as the West Side. Always eat at the bar on the West Side).

Finding a suitable replacement on Long Island was a challenge and a half, with Baldwin closing, me having no interest in going to Green Acres, and Carle Place having horrible service and cold mozzarella sticks. Don't get me started on Times Square, the memories are still painful. I haven't even attempted to dine at Ronkonkoma because that would be a ridiculous distance to travel for Red Lobster. And who the Hell goes to Ronkonkoma for a meal? What, did I go to Sachem and have a goatee?

After all that, we settled on Copaigue (13 miles away) because they have the best service and the warmest food.

And now a note on Red Lobster service. In researching Endless Shrimp, I came across this blog (which I love) written by a Red Lobster server. The only thing I can't stand about this, is that the anonymous author fraking nails all the talent you find in your run of the mill Red Lobster:

"Do your customers ever do gross things at your tables (or where you work)? Here's a few stories from my long list.

Guy scratching incessantly at his balls. You're in public. I don't care if your d*ck is literally on fire, you don't have to touch it this much. And if you put your hands inside your pants to do the "itching", I'm calling the cops...


Eating food off the floor. You'd be less likely to get a disease if you ate your food off the ground in an alley in the poor section of Calcutta. Restaurant floors (where carpeted) under booths and tables are some of the most filthy places on the earth. Further, why anyone would think it is a good idea to let your kids crawl around under there is beyond my comprehension. The booger picker, pukey kid and the crotch itcher sat there earlier. And all the old lady's used tissues end up here too. And if you live near a farming area, whatever sorts of manuer is available will be found here as well. And maybe Ebola too."

And it goes on and on, more here: Red Lobster Blog (link)

On the Red Lobster Blog, the one blog post that stood out was Lobsterboy's missive on how annoying Endless Shrimp can be for the service staff; in fact he calls it "The Worst Promotion of the Year"

This means we triple the amount of work we have to do for a lot less money. Our clientèle does not improve with this promotion. Our better customers aren't all that interested in gorging themselves past the limits of normal humans. In fact, this promotion scares off some of our good customers for a while.

Lobsterboy channels his inner David Foster Wallace here, making me rethink my love of seafood almost as long as I did after reading Consider the Lobster.

Alas, nothing can make me change my mind about loving some Red Lobster.

Here's all the important info:

Right now at Red Lobster you can enjoy an Endless amount of new and classic shrimp preparations. Start with our NEW Cajun Shrimp, tossed with a spicy Cajun butter sauce, and pair it with one of your favorite shrimp preparations like tender Garlic Shrimp Scampi or savory Hand-Breaded Shrimp. Then choose another preparation like creamy Shrimp Linguini Alfredo or crunchy Coconut Shrimp Bites.

Don't get the pasta first, the carbs fill you up and gyp you out of some necessary tummy space. Try the cajun shrimp and remember that this won't last forever. Just make sure you tip well, you fat slob :)

In Praise of...Yankee Stadium Chicken Fingers

There is a joke that asks, "What's the difference between a Yankee dog and a Fenway Frank?" to which the answer is "You can get a Yankee dog in October." Now that's not funny anymore for a variety of reasons (Boy, Ortiz has grown a little from his Minnesota days, hasn't he? I hope that sheath is healing, Papi. Too bad George Mitchell wasn't a partner with the Yankees, huh?).

I don't know about Fenway Franks, but as of recently, Yankee dogs suck and are more overrated than our shortstop. I've always been partial to the Lobo dogs sold at The Pit on the campus of the University of New Mexico, anyway.

The hidden gem of the Big Ballpark in the Bronx are the Chicken Fingers (and the guy that keeps our seats clear, more on him later). The past few times I've been to the Stadium, there's nothing that settles me after riding like livestock on the 4 Train from Grand Central than those delicious Chicken Fingers.

To be honest I'm guessing that I'm not really breaking new ground here because the fingers come out piping hot. I figure enough people are buying them to keep them coming. I mean, I was able to find a picture of them on the Internet, (and the Times did a story on them) so some folks are obviously taking notice.

The serving size is huge, consisting of five fingers (just like Rick James) and a mess of thick-cut French fries. My fellow taste tester said she'd like the fries to be a little saltier.

The only downfall is that they're (surprise!) a bit pricey, coming in at $10 for a plate. But for that $10, you end up getting pretty full. Save room for the cotton candy. Don't get me started, I could write another post on how great the cotton candy at that place is.

The Chicken Fingers are available at most stands around the ballpark and of course, the Johnnie Walker Pinstripe Pub*.

*Located on the Field Level at Sec. 10, the Johnnie Walker Pinstripe Pub is an informal restaurant open to members and their guests. It opens with the gates and closes at the end of the seventh inning.