Morgan O'Brien's WiGO 03.10.09

Another reason to hate man's worst enemy:
This morning, I awoke to the eerily disturbing sounds of raccoons copulating in the tree over our garage. This is how it sounded: SHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKEKKEEKKEEEE GRRRGGLGLGLLGLLG EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKE



Nature's Alarm Clock

Annoying as that was, after reading the following article, I can't complain. In fact, of the countless reasons to hate raccoons, I think Alexander Kirilov will forever have the best (or worst).

Toothy raccoon bit off manhood
By LEON WATSON

A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal. Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with." (link)

As an aside, I was looking for a picture to go with this and Googled "raccoon sex". Click this link (here). You learn something new every day.

Another sad, military-related drunk driving death

Groton Sailor Held In Fatal I-395 Crash
Judge orders $300,000 bond; state laws on alcohol liability at Mohegan murky
By Michael Naughton , Jennifer Grogan

As David Musser waited for his son's arraignment in Norwich Superior Court Monday morning, he ducked in and out of the courtroom, paced the lobby and spoke with attorneys and family members, all the while clutching a red book titled “Christian Prayer.”

His son, Daniel Musser, a Navy machinist's mate from Missouri now living in Groton, was arraigned on charges that he drove drunk on the wrong side of Interstate 395 without his lights on early Saturday and collided head on with a livery van carrying Connecticut College students, killing one of them.

Musser, who turned 24 years old Sunday, was ordered held on $300,000 bond by Judge Robert E. Young, who also ordered Musser to undergo a psychiatric evaluation and be placed on a suicide watch.

Sad

I'm pained to read stories like this. You're sad for the victims but also sad for a 24-year-old that threw his life away for a night of drinking. I'm also bothered that the casinos are now taking heat for this from local politicians, regarding their 24-hour alcohol sales.

I hate that our culture has an insatiable appetite for finding people and institutions to cast blame. I think that if pressed Machinist's Mate Musser (if he learned anything during his time in uniform) would be the first to admit that he's the only one held accountable for his actions.

Some more sad news

Arrest in slaying of US diplomat's wife
By FRANK ELTMAN
Associated Press
2009-03-10 04:30 AM

The wife of a former ambassador to Haiti and humanitarian coordinator in Bosnia and Herzegovina was fatally stabbed by an intruder while visiting a friend in an exclusive Long Island neighborhood, police said Monday.

A 22-year-old man known to police from a prior burglary arrest in the area was arrested on murder charges.

Robert Schiavo was ordered held without bail after pleading not guilty to second-degree murder in the death of Nancy McKinley. His court-appointed attorney did not immediately return a telephone call seeking comment.

McKinley, 61, is the wife of Brunson McKinley, a longtime State Department official who served as a U.S. ambassador to Haiti and was the U.S. humanitarian coordinator in Bosnia and Herzegovina from 1995-1998. He is currently co-chairman of the Geneva-based Association for International Mobility.

Homicide detectives said Nancy McKinley was on a weekend visit with a friend in Bellport, about 65 miles (100 kilometers) east of New York City, when Schiavo allegedly broke into the home at about 1 a.m. Sunday and then stabbed McKinley numerous times, police said. (AP)

Figures how everyone is so worried about us moving overseas and the truth is that a diplomat's spouse can't even feel safe in Bellport. What a world.

As always,
With my Greatest Respect
xOxO
Morgan

Cahoochies Update!

Here's the CNN piece on the Michael Dick (haha) story, first reported here last week:

All in the name

What a Dick (literally)

Sometimes, everything comes together. The perfect crime, the perfect response, the perfect mugshot, the perfect name and the perfect double entendre:

Naked Home Invader Nabbed After Senior Citizen Grabs His 'Cahoochies'

An 80-year old woman grabbed a naked man named Michael Dick by the crotch and gave him a good squeeze; police nabbed him a few minutes later.

PORTLAND, Ore.) - It seems some criminals have a problem of underestimating their victims. Police say that today at 6:30 AM, an 88-year old woman in her bathrobe was confronted by a naked man who had entered her home in the 2500 block of SE 287th Avenue through an unlocked sliding door.

Deputy Paul H. (Mac) McRedmond with the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office, says the man, saying nothing, backed her into the living room of the house and pushed her face down onto a chair.

"Before whatever plans the suspect might have had, the woman reached behind her and grabbed the man by the crotch, 'giving him a good squeeze', McRedmond said. (story here)

Thankfully, the victim is alright, just a little shaken up.

The only thing that would make this story better is if I found out if this perp is related to the biggest Dick I know.

Finally, let it be known from this day forward, any article that includes the word 'cahoochies' in the headline will earn a featured mention on morganobrien.com.


Photo: Multnomah County Sheriff's Office