What a difference a year makes

It's been a year since I last reported for duty as an active-duty Airman, and what an eventful year it's been! New York's been a great time so far, I've worked with some incredible people, supported a phenomenal mission, caught up with some old friends and watched a Hell of a lot of the Yankees.


So here's to a year of freedom! I've never regretted my decision to leave, but I'll forever take the utmost pride in the fact that I was fortunate enough to wear the uniform of the world's greatest air and space force.


At the same time, there isn't a day that passes where I fail to remember those in uniform, still fighting the good fight:

• No excuse: Military women should never be in such a position and the solution must come top down. We need stronger leaders that are not misogynists, that can control themselves around young women (and you know who you are) and actually create safe environments. When our female warriors need to worry more about their fellow servicemembers than the enemy, there's a real problem that requires immediate attention. Of course, it's easy for me to take this stance on such an obvious issue, but in the military culture, I wasn't brave enough to stand up to this injustice. I regret not speaking out more when, in my opinion, I saw the roots of this in action at Kirtland. While I never saw a woman assaulted, there was clearly an old boys network that sowed the seeds of this culture. That black mark stays with me.
• Well, at least the Pentagon's putting it's best foot forward to rectify this. Or maybe not. (incredible)
• And keep the families of Lt. Col. Thomas Bouley, the crew of the B-52 that crashed off the coast of Guam, the 10 servicemembers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan this month.
• Take a moment to read this piece on fallen warrior Dustin Canham, the brother of Oregon State catcher Mitch Canham.
• This is beginning to get ridiculous.

What is the Montauk Monster?

I don't even want to speculate.

Photo: Jenna Hewitt, East Hampton Star

We Got Him!

The one on the left is a Yank.  The other guy's in jail in Caracas for trying to light someone on fire.

Giambi to the Shift: You're No. 1

Watch closely, lest you miss it:

From Withleather: [Video: Mr. Irrelevant; Still image: Sportscrack]  

Awesome NFL Vids from Mike Scalare, 2 of 3: Chris Cooley

Is there anything that Chris Cooley can't do? Seriously, between action and cut, is there anyone else you'd want on camera? He's definitely in the top 10 dudes I wish I knew. Right after Tucker Max and before Scott Van Pelt.

According to my sources, Cooley was awesome to work with on set for this Reebok/NFL spot that's part of a campaign promoting fantasy football. When the stunt was explained to him, he didn't hesitate, saying, "I've put my hand through sheetrock before, I know I can get through it."

I was about to take a swipe at Tony Gonzales here, because Shannon Sharpe likes to imply that Tony is a wimp, but then I realized that wouldn't be very nice and that I don't even know Tony Gonzales.

As a final bit of trivia, the QB is former NFLer John "Not JDB" Booty.

For more from the mind of warped genius Mike Scalare, visit: http://heavilycaffeinated.com/

Awesome NFL Vids from Mike Scalare, 1 of 3: Chris Chambers

For more, go to: http://heavilycaffeinated.com/

And Rome Continues to Burn

And the week begins with a bang:

An apparent general officer suicide

A top civilian loudly resigns

Another top civilian resigns (a little more quiet)

Four Hill Airmen allegedly tied to attempted homicide

For those of you interested in the sugar-coated half truths: http://www.blogger.com/www.af.mil(Do yourself a favor and read the AF-sanctioned version of those stories, the differences are borderline insulting).

This is a sinking ship--we're a wartime Air Force and the leaders that stick around can't bail water fast enough. Gen. Schwartz and Sec. Donley certainly have their work cut out for them. On the bright side, there's only one way for this to go, so they have that going for them.

Is it Tuesday yet?

Biting My Style = Not Cool

You go to my alma mater.

Fine.

You compete in my sport.

Good for you.

You steal my nickname?

Now we've got a problem.

Will it Play in Peoria?

Surely you've seen this footage from the Dayton Dragons and Peoria Cubs from Thursday night in beautiful, downtown Dayton.

This got me thinking. I used to live in Dayton, and guess where the P Cubs play...that's right, Central Illinois' largest outdoor sports and entertainment facility.

It's basically like I was there.

While we're on the subject, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_it_play_in_Peoria%3F

Fairfax, 2008

I hope Andrew's agent worked out the residuals from this movie optioned by his new neighbors.

This is Crap

It doesn't take a former military Public Affairs Officer to recognize that the story of Caleb Campbell was a coup for the Army. He was followed by ESPN on draft day, supported by servicemembers at home and abroad and was the picture-perfect recruiting poster soldier for a wartime military that's always seeking good stories.

Leave it to the military to ruin a good thing:

Army orders Lions draft pick Campbell to withdraw
By LARRY LAGE, AP Sports Writer

ALLEN PARK, Mich. (AP)—Caleb Campbell was a day away from practicing with the Detroit Lions and taking a step toward his dream of playing in the NFL.

“He was issued a helmet, ready to go,” coach Rod Marinelli said Wednesday.

Now, Campbell is closer to joining his fellow West Point graduates in Iraq or
Afghanistan.

The hypocrisy here is incredible. The military clearly recognizes the value added to recruiting from news-gathering soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines. How else would you explain the World Class Athlete programs or the Thunderbirds, Golden Knights or Blue Angels (or even the Tops in Blue).

The fact is that soldiers like Campbell are much more valuable to the Army in Detroit, playing for the Lions, than they are serving as another Joe in the field.

A couple observations:

• The Olympics will showcase soldiers on the marksmanship teams that do not have to deploy. The New York Times did a nice job covering these elite shooters.


• The Olympics will showcase an Air Force officer, Capt. Kevin Eastler, who's a racewalker.


• The Olympics will showcase at least one soldier, Sgt. Dremiel Byers, who's a Greco-Roman wrestler.


• The Air Force couldn't do enough stories about Bryce Fisher, a reserve captain who moonlighted as a Seattle Seahawk defensive end in the 2002 Super Bowl.


• An Annapolis Midshipman turned St. Louis Cardinals draft pick, Mitch Harris, didn't get the same treatment as Campbell initially did (or David Robinson or Napoleon McCallum did), and must serve his full, five-year commitment.


• Why hasn't anyone interviewed the McCain campaign about this policy? He and potential Obama running mate Sen. Jim Webb dealt with this same issue regarding the status of Robinson and McCallum. It'd be an interesting story to break from the campaign monotony.

Anyone in uniform can and should respect this special treatment. I bet most would be proud of guys like Campbell and Harris as they pursue stardom. I am and would be if I were still in uniform. Whenever their names show up in ink, they'll always be preceded by the words "West Point gridiron standout," or "Former Annapolis star pitcher." You cannot buy that kind of publicity.

At the same time, show me the warfighter that won't root for his comrades in Beijing. You can't, because there's nothing more patriotic than hearing the Star Spangled Banner on the medal stand; and when the gold goes to a military man or woman, it means that much more. Again, first-rate PR on a global stage when we need it most.

I recognize the armed forces are an egalitarian world, blind to race, class, culture or creed. That's a huge part of why we're so successful. At the same time, the military should do a better job as a meritocracy, and embrace the special talents of its individuals. Sometimes everyone can share in the success of a few.

The Empire Strikes Back!

You've read about my return to glory (sort of). You've experienced the thrill of victory (not
really) and giggled at my agony in defeat.

Well, dear readers, it looks like Morgan O'Brien.com gets the last laugh:

It's true that your humble correspondent will represent the 516/631 Island at this year's Empire State Games (I'm a 213-pounder in Greco)! The tournament is Friday, and I'll be sure to file this weekend with all the gory details.

In related news, the LI squad must have been incredibly desperate to extend the invitation, In fact, Morgan's World's hard-hitting investigative team did actually find evidence as to how this roster spot appeared:

Oh, well, the moral of the story is, 11 years later I earned my Empires warmups! You see, showing up truly is half the battle.

Guest Commentary

And the Walls Come Tumblin’ Down
By Dick Lipshitz, SABER Institute Analyst
Special to http://www.morganobrien.com/

NAPERVILLE, Ill.--A recent claim by long-time and newly retired Prochilo family softballer, Charlie Randle, asserting that he batted .550 over his career brought with it questions concerning the validity of the statement as well as a wise crack from Morgan O’Brien stating that the magical .550 number was more likely linked to Randle’s typical blood alcohol level.

We decided to look inside the numbers and we found that the magical .550 was like a house of cards…impressive—yes but also very unstable and easily leveled.

Here are the factors that bring that house of cards tumblin’ down:

The Nepotism Factor
Interestingly, Randle’s career batting average when facing direct descendents and Godchildren is a cool .853. Did Randle’s Svengali-like influence cause the hurlers to groove a few? The numbers don’t lie.

The Juiced-Ball Era
As the old guard is well aware, from ’93-’98 the family picnic softballs were imported from Haiti in an attempt to save a few bucks. Those crazy Haitians wound the balls to a PSI level exceeding that of USA Softball specifications by 39%. Randle’s average during this era was an eye-popping +.225 points than the balance of his career.

The Ballpark Factor
You’ve got to hand it Randle—he proved to be one selective s.o.b. Randel was so selective, in fact, that he chose to avoid batting at the ballparks that didn’t mesh with the slap-hitting/running style that defined his career. At Randle-friendly parks like the Long Beach Rec Field, School #2 Memorial Park (with '650 power alleys), and the now-shuttered Lyons Park at Wilberham, Randle was sure to play and also certain to nose his way to the top of the order so that he could enjoy a few more at bats to build a bridge to the magical .550.

A Statistical Marvel
Never in the history of the much regarded OPS (on base percentage + slugging percentage) had a person had a lower OPS than batting average. In fact, it was thought to be a statistical impossibility. However, Randle blows that theory and we thought we understood about math out of the water as his OBPS sits at .511. What does this tell us? Well, we see that every one of Randle’s hits were one baggers.

Mathematical corrections for the first three factors brings Randle’s lifetime BA down to a more pedestrian .374—a solid career at the plate, yes, but not one of Ruthian proportions. Couple that with the weak OPS and we see a mortal in the eyes of many melt to a man—a man to admire for sure, but not one to define an era by.

MLB Blogs

ROB NEYER
Red Sox shouldn't trade prospects for relievers

JAYSON STARK
Three Strikes: Can't get no relief edition

BUSTER OLNEY
Durbin a pitcher … and a businessman

ERIC KARABELL
Karabell: Euphoric about Eugenio; closers, Bush, mail

KEITH LAW
Durham could be 'useful' to Brewers

PETER GAMMONS
Hamilton an inspiration in so many ways

I'll never view Maverick Quite the Same

What TOP GUN is really about by Quentin Tarantino

I'd never seen this movie, Roger Avery's Sleep With Me, although I've heard this argument before. Never quite as well as Quentin presents it, though. It's hard to argue with his logic.

In related (and not quite as entertaining) news:

Hearing to tackle gay policy

By Andrea Stone - USA Today
Posted : Tuesday Jul 22, 2008 16:43:55 EDT

Democrats in Congress hope to ignite debate about the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy Wednesday with the first hearing on the subject since 1993, when President Clinton said gays could serve in uniform if they kept quiet about their sexual orientation (continued).

It's a sin the military fails to live up to a proud heritage of tearing down barriers. We led the way in integration--Jackie Robinson was an Army lieutenant before he stepped on a Major League diamond--and should lead the way here. Wherever you stand on the issue--whether it's biological (as science seems to believe) or by choice (as Tarantino seems to believe)-- turning away patriotic, capable, able-bodied men and women because of who they are or what they believe is a shame, an oversight only magnified during wartime.

Me & Carson= Likeminded

I hate Ohio State, and so Does Carson Palmer,  (from AOLFanHouse via Deadspin):

Carson Palmer Hates Ohio State Fans

Posted Jul 20th 2008 6:00PM by Adam Jacobi (author feed)
Filed under: Bengals, Ohio State, USC

Carson Palmer is a man of few words. Wait, did we say "few"? We mean "ill-chosen and recklessly incendiary." When on a Los Angeles-area radio show this past Thursday, the USC alum had this to say about Ohio State fans:

I cannot stand the Buckeyes.

Well, that's not a very nice thing to

It's amazing to hear what those guys think about that university and what they think about that football program and Tressel and all the crap I gotta put up with being back there.

Okay, you've made your point, Carso

I just can't wait for two years from now when SC comes to the 'Shoe and hopefully we'll have a home game that weekend and I can go up there and watch us pound on them in their own turf

Carson.

I'm really getting sick of it and I just can't wait for this game to get here so they can come out to the Coliseum and experience LA and get an old-fashioned Pac-10 butt-whoopin' and go back to the Big Ten.

Okay. Let's get you home.

Granted, the vitriol is probably comically overstated, as he was talking to sports radio jockeys in USC's backyard. Also, unlike some people, he didn't bring up genocide. Still, this being the age of the Internet, we're more than happy to share woofing like that when Carson Palmer's name is attached to it. We're not trying to discourage it, of course; this is ten thousand times better than the boilerplate "looking to go out there and compete" phrases that typically come out of athletes' mouths.

Palmer may, however, want to avoid taking shots at a team that's a heck of a lot more popular--and successful--than his Bengals.

The 2008 Prochilo Family Mid-Summer Classic

Outlined against a blue-gray October sky the Four Horsemen rode again. In dramatic lore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. These are only aliases. Their real names are: Prochilo, Rugolo, O'Brien, and Lyons.

--Grantland Rice

In an era of $4.50 gasoline, Dubai owning the Chrysler Building and Billy Ray Cyrus co-starring on a hit television show, it's nice to know that there's still some things you can always count on. Despite hot, hazy and humid weather and a pervasive sense of lethargy, the annual rite of passage known simply as "The Softball Game," headlined an eventful 2008 Prochilo Family Picnic for yet another year.

Featuring the sideline prognostications of Charlie Randle that evoked more Jerry Remy than the honey baritone of Oceanside's own Bob "The Voice of God" Sheppard (and certainly not Hazel Mae), the game was fast-paced and high scoring. Behind hard-throwing ace Peter Randle, the Old Guard held off a late charge by the Young Guns, holding on 18-12 and staving off the senior home for yet another year. (Click on sidebar for more info on Charlie Randle)

Coming out to the field with an introduction from a special guest, both sides were primed for action. Adding to the game's excitement, history was made by the Young Guns when Katie Prochilo, a precocious middle infielder out of Shaumburg, Illinois, shattered the glass batter's box, taking to the field for the youngsters.

While there was some trepidation about allowing a young woman to play the game, her position as a valued team member was cemented when team captain and shortstop Jack "Pee Wee Reese" O'Brien put his arm around her and directed her to become his double play partner at second base.

The youthful energy and zeal of the Young Guns paid off early, as they grabbed a fast 4-0 lead after the top of the first inning. In the bottom of the first, the Old Guard grabbed three back. A tit-for-tat battle commenced over the next few innings, as the Young Guns were able to keep the lead thanks to smart baserunning and timely hitting.

"We play old-school, National League-style baseball," said Jack O'Brien. "My philosophy is 'What Would Jesus Do?' and I figured he'd lead the league in sacrifices. That's why I expect my team to give themselves up and move the runner over."

When told of Jack's comments, Old Guard outfielder Andrew O'Brien said, "I don't get his comments--he lost. Is he trying to tell me that Jesus Christ couldn't hit a softball?" (Ed. Note: I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Grandma Pro and the Marianist Brothers of Chaminade High School for that one).

As the game progressed, Peter Randle began to settle down, evoking what his father described as his best Uncle Joe Tortorelli. For the Young Guns, Oceanside High School Chemistry teacher Frankie Rugolo mixed together five strong innings, looking like a young Uncle Reggie Milano, until he came apart after a controversial call involving a hustling Dan Gaffney beating nephew Will Lyons to the bag on a bang-bang play at first.

"I knew I was safe," said Gaffney.

"I knew he was safe," said Lyons.

Later, on the basepaths, Gaffney paid homage to illegitimate Red Sox All-Star Second Baseman Dustin Pedroia, rolling in the infield dirt, incurring a mean raspberry but still managing to score during a 8-run sixth inning rally from which the Old Guard would not look back.

Lyons later atoned for the defensive miscue with offensive fireworks surrounding a Josh Hamiltonesque tape-measure blast that almost rolled to Rockville Centre. The Worcester Polytechnic Institute basketball standout has scouts buzzing about his two-sport potential. In fact, WPI women's softball coach Dottie Pepper was expected to reach out to Lyons about being the team manager/towel boy for the Spring '09 campaign.

The game's web gem was made by Joe "Frank and Shirley's Son" Rugolo, who made a one-handed snag of a line drive to centerfield, managing to juggle a can of crisp, refreshing Budweiser from spilling with his free hand.

"The Belgians might buy Anheuser Busch, but there's nothing as American as a bunch of Irish and Italians drinking beer and playing Softball," said Rugolo. "God Bless America."

Thanks to fancy glovework by Rugolo and a big blast off the bat of MVP Don Prochilo, the Old Guard took the lead for good.

"We played hard and got behind early, but didn't let ourselves get out of it mentally because no lead is safe," said Prochilo, a master of baseball jargon who also had three stellar plays at shortstop where he robbed a 12-year-old girl--his own daughter--on three consecutive at bats. "We smelled blood in the water and took it one inning at a time even though nobody believed in us; we never forgot that it's a game of inches and won between the lines."

In conclusion, and with all due respect to John Updike:

After Prochilo's homer, the fans thumped, wept, and chanted "We want Don" for minutes after he hid in the dugout, he did not come back. Their noise for some seconds passed beyond excitement into a kind of immense open anguish, a wailing, a cry to be saved. But immortality is nontransferable. The papers said that the other players, and even the umpires on the field, begged him to come out and acknowledge us in some way, but he never had and did not now. Gods do not answer letters.

DIAMOND NOTES: Joe Pollard, the pride of the Quad Cities, made two putouts of the O'Briens Morgan in the 4th inning, robbing Jr. and III of hits; a first since 2003 when left centerfielder Eddie Hart robbed William J. Lyons III and IV of hits in the 2nd inning. Of course, there was the time in '96 where thanks to a passed ball on a strikeout, Uncle Lou retired four Joe Rugolos in succession...Tommy "The Yankee Clipper" O'Brien continued his 14-year hitting streak with an impressive 4 for 4 day at the plate. Back in '94, he was held hitless by his brother Jimmy. In '04, he had his closest call when he reached on an error twice and had a walk and HBP to go without an official at bat...After decades of games between them, Billy "The Iron Bentley" Lyons and Jimmy "Private Joker" O'Brien served as honorary captains during the Futures Game held at an adjacent venue....Lyons retirement marked the end of an era, halting his consecutive games streak at 45. Fans will never forget when he took over for Uncle Wally "Pipp" Heinze, who left the game back in ''63 due to an as yet undiagnosed psychosocial disorder that involved television dinners...Retirement is bittersweet for Jimmy, who, like Ted Williams, lost prime years to serving his country. While in Da Nang province, Jimmy did lead the league in a number of categories involving a hail of bullets from a .50 cal. mounted on the side of an UH-1M....Interestingly, Katie is only the second most feminine name in the history of the Softball Game. Top honors in that category actually go to Katie's grandfather, Andrea Prochilo...In New England fashion news, Celtics apparel has replaced pink hats/Tom Brady jerseys as the must-have fair weather gear from Bangor to Hartford (In those kid pictures that were part of the contest, a three-year-old Morgan O'Brien was wearing a Yankee jacket in 1984 , so don't give me any crap about being a fair weather Yankee fan)...Billy Lyons likes OSIR at $10-12...Next year's game heads south to Long Beach.

Tuesdays, 10/9 Central

on A&E

Air Force Continues to Steal Headlines

Thursday afternoon, the official Web site of the Air Force trumpeted the arrival of "offices in the air," placing this story as the lead on the 7-million-visitors-per-week page.

Air Force officials buy 'offices in the air'

WASHINGTON (AFPN) -- Air Force officials recently approved the purchase of pallets that will provide work and rest areas for senior leaders traveling aboard mobility aircraft. The service is purchasing two types of removable mobile command workspaces for use by military and senior civilian leaders who are required to use military aircraft for travel. One is the Senior Leaders In-transit Conference Capsule, or SLICC, and the other is the SLIP, or Senior Leaders In-transit Pallet.

"Typical Air Force," I thought to myself. Only my service would celebrate this airborne luxury while our fighting men and women (to include numerous brave Airmen, both enlisted and junior officer) are in the sh!t, fighting.

Thankfully, the Washington Post thought the same thing, and covered the story on A01:

Terrorism Funds May Let Brass Fly in Style
The Air Force's top leadership sought for three years to spend
counterterrorism funds on "comfort capsules" to be installed on military planes that ferry senior officers and civilian leaders around the world, with at least four top generals involved in design details such as the color of the capsules' carpet and leather chairs, according to internal e-mails and budget documents.

In a true, Profiles in Courage moment, the Air Force ripped down the story from http://www.af.mil/. Go ahead, I dare you to find it on the site or via the site search function. Fortunately, this is the same service that kept pictures of everyone's favorite colonel up well into his headline-stealing court martial. And don't worry, I saved a copy of the page.

This is incredible. Let's put this in perspective: someone in SAF/PA actually thought that this was noteworthy enough to lead the official Air Force Web page, and spawned an A01 Post story that causes the AF to pull the piece. That's a HUGE swing and miss. The last thing the AF needs is this kind of press.

More from today's Post:

A military officer familiar with the program, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak about it, likewise said that its extravagance has provoked widespread contempt among lower-ranking Air Force personnel. "This whole program is an embarrassment," the officer said, particularly because transport seating for troops en route to the battlefield is in his view generally shoddy.

It' s no secret what I think about certain Air Force leadership, so this is only par for the course. You grow to expect this after a while.

As one of my former fellow Airmen recently wrote,

"I have to admit, when I heard about those to jack-asses getting the boot,
I had to chuckle a little. They f-d everything up when they started
cutting good people to buy a couple more jets. Now we're knee deep in a
war that requires leaders, not planes, and they are undermanned."

I also think that this is the tip of the iceberg. While I was on active duty, rumor had it that while at Scott AFB, Gen. McNabb gutted his C-21 (executive transport/military Lear Jet) and retrofitted it with various outlandish upgrades (leather interior, there was word of an in-flight bar). If true, there's much more here. Hopefully, the Post has only scratched the surface and continues to pursue reporting on unnecessary excesses.

Some Links You May Enjoy

This is what Andrew was like as a kid (link).

Another reason to love Giambi (link). 

New Mexico, Red Lobster, Murder, Intrigue, CSI? This is a Morgan O'Brien story through and through (link)

-----
Neat story about Lupica from Deadspin (more on the All Star Game coming this week):





An All-Star game attendee emailed Deadspin this report from deep within the hallowed grounds of Yankee Stadium. Apparently, New York Daily News columnist Mike Lupica was having a tough time gaining access to the lower level — where the important people sit! — during Tuesday night's game. :


Great all-star game story with some pictures...i was sitting by the entrance to the concourse in the lower level and i hear someone screaming at security so turn to look up the tunnel. It's Mike Lupica and he wasn't being given access to get to the lower field box level so he decided to throw a fit...he pulled a, "do you know who i am" to the guards and ultimately got nowhere, but it was easily an enjoyable moment watching his face turn bright red and freak out during the game...


-----
Speaking of Lupica, I sent this letter to the Daily News about 10 days ago. Unfortunately, the News protects the rat and his inappropriate, uniformed political rants and Yankee potshots so it wasn't run:

To the Editor:
I want to take issue with one of Mike Lupica’s one-hitters from the end of this week’s Sunday Column. Lupica writes, “You know why the Brewers can make a big play for C.C. Sabathia when they want to make a run? Because they have real prospects in their system, not Yankee prospects.”

Unfortunately, Mr. Lupica unfairly besmirches the excellent work of one of baseball’s best front offices. While the Brewers and Indians made the Sabathia trade Sunday night, the reasons for the deal are most certainly because the Brewers had what Cleveland needed, and not because of a dearth of talent in the Yankee farm system. In fact, according to the 2008 Baseball America Prospect Handbook, the Yankees have baseball’s fifth best group of prospects, 16 spots ahead of the 21st-ranked Brewers.

In all fairness to Mr. Lupica’s assessment, Baseball America explains that Brewers’s relatively low 2008 ranking comes from the fact that many of their top prospects made it to the major leagues; therefore not figuring in the 2008 rankings. That said, even when you include Milwaukee’s crop of impressive young stars, both the Brewers and Yankees still land respectably in the top fifth of prospect rankings, much better than Mr. Lupica would have his readers believe.

And if Mr. Lupica needs Baseball America’s to establish its bona fides, he need look no further than one of his personal favorites, Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein. Epstein wrote the foreword in the 2008 guide, writing “I can think of no better resource…than Baseball America’s Prospect Handbook.”

Morgan O’Brien

The Mighty North Fork-or-A Clydesdale is Born

On the shores of Cutchogue's Cedar Beach Sunday, I again ventured into the wet and wild world of competitive multi-sport racing, participating in the 2008 Mighty North Fork Triathlon. Thankfully, I lived to tell about it here on morganobrien.com.

In April, I covered my first venture into the world of Long Island triathloning. In rereading that piece, I see that my main focus was to build off my experiences from that event and make less mistakes the next time out. Primarily, I was concerned about slashing my transition times and prepping for a smooth transition into the run. And while there's certainly room to improve--there's always room to improve--I was very pleased after completing Sunday's race.

This event was sprint distance, encompassing a 500m open-water swim, an 8-mile bike and a 3.5 mile run. As an added bonus, the event included a Clydesdale division for those strapping 200 pounders like myself. Excuse me for a moment here,

• Now, I knew I had to hoof it and make hay to have a good time.
• Also, I had to allow myself only positive thoughts--no room for neigh-sayers.
• Being a Clydesdale opened up a new opportunity for me here, a chance to place, so it was important that I didn't look this gift horse in the mouth.
• I'd never want to saddle myself with unrealistic expectations.
• I bet Lindner and Cameron will make fun of this piece. Enough of their horseplay.
• This event was the mane event of my weekend.

Ahem, back to the regularly scheduled article.

In researching last year's results, I saw that the Clydesdale winner dropped a 1:01 and it would take a 1:04 to medal. I also wanted to beat Andrew Cameron's 2006 pace where he threw down an impressive 23: 28 in the run en route to a solid 1:05:42.

Between the two, I had a good idea of how I wanted to finish. It is important to note that Andrew Cameron is decidedly not a Clydesdale.

We left the O'Brien Compound-East at 0500 Sunday morning and made it around Riverhead and up to the North Fork in about 45 minutes. Getting there early was beneficial because the transition areas were a little more open, so you could set yourself up without fear of moving other people's things. After putting everything in place, I turned around and saw none other than Pete Lindner, of CHS '99 and Va. Tech. '03 fame. What a thrill. He was doing well and is apparently on a "bride's diet" because his fiance, the lovely Meg, is already in game shape for the big day later this summer.

After catching up, it was into the water for the swim. Mortal men went in the first wave. Women, children, relay participants and Clydesdales went in the second wave. The water was much warmer than I expected, and swimming in salt water is preferable to swimming in a pool. I had never competed in an open-water swim before. I didn't make the investment for a wet suit, but bought a rash guard. I figured that if this is how our Olympians role, I could be sleek in a rash guard.

In hindsight, I should have worn shoulder pads. Open-water swimming is a contact sport. I had enough 40-year-old woman hit me in the face that I began to have flashbacks of growing up under the wrath of Susie O'Brien.

Now I don't swim nearly as much as I like, but I broke away from pack and hit the turn at a 4:40 pace, and was pretty happy. As we came back in, there were a bunch of guys running in the water like MJ rehabbing his ankle in '85. That pissed me off because it wasn't the spirit of the race. I got out of the water and hit the transition point at 10:59, which is about where I wanted to be (it takes a little longer on the back end because you have to get out of the water and run up the beach a little).

In T1, I was on fire, slipping off my swim cap and rash guard en route to my bike. I threw on my shoes and was out with my mount at 2:36.

The first thing I did on the bike was eat a goo pack (no, it was not oat flavored). I didn't want my calves to cramp again when I started the run. We all know what happens when equines pull up lame.

In reality, what I should have done was hire a sherpa. When did the North Fork get all topographic? Is this a recent phenomenon? Man, those hills were lethal. They're sneaky steep, too. You might call them rolling hills.

My goals on the bike were to hydrate, replenish electrolytes and mash my gears. I downed a bottle of water and another goo pack before finishing and maintained my place through virtually the whole ride. While I would have liked to have ridden faster, I clocked in at 24 minutes, a solid 20 mile per hour pace on the nose.

I was thrilled with T2, where I slipped off my bike shoes and ran with my bike to the rack. I had invested in speed laces on my running shoes, so I was out of the chute in 1:16, in the top 100 of finishers, no small feat for a guy that had to change shoes, unlike competitors that wear the same thing on the bike and run.

You begin the run along the beach. That's a tough transition because you feel like you're trudging through mud. I was excited that my calves didn't cramp again, but didn't feel like I hit my stride until about a mile in. At the two mile mark, someone ran up behind me and said, "Nice going, sweet cheeks." To which I replied "F*ck of--oh, hi Lindner." Lindner passed me in vintage form. It was like the end of Eight Men Out when Buck Weaver watched a semi-pro game with some kids whispering about a certain outfielder. Weaver said, "Nah, he was the best. He could hit, throw, run. None of those guys are around now." Ok, Lindner couldn't hit or throw, but he could run, dropping a 4:25.07 in the 1600 way back when.

I finished the run in 28:40, which is way too slow for someone that runs as much as I do. There's no reason not to break an eight minute pace. A wild stallion must gallop free.

All told, I crossed the finish line in 1:07:29, about 3 minutes from where I wanted to be (so I need to improve about a minute per discipline). That was good enough for 114th overall and fifth place among Clydesdales (I was a minute and a half from medalling), so I would probably make Augustus Busch's hitch, but I wouldn't be the lead pony. I could complain, but I don't want to make myself hoarse.

TRI-NOTES: The shirts were burgundy colored (a shout to the North Fork's rich wine country) cotton shirts, ok, but not anything I'd wear to church or anything like that...There were these ridiculous Ocean Life Guards that should really consider competing in the 2008 Ms. Fitness USA competition. How'm I supposed to focus on the swim with them out there? Just saying...The summer shakes out with a return to Eisenhower with the Mini Mightyman on Aug. 2...We signed up for the Mighty Hamptons, where we'll have home field advantage, on Sept. 14 (Olympic Distance, so I'll invest in a wet suit) and close out the season in the Montauk Mightyman Sprint in early October.

Don't Drink the Water!!!

Sometimes, the headline and the lead paragraph don't jive:

Kirtland water deemed safe despite fuel leak

By Michael Hoffman - Staff writer Posted : Wednesday Jul 16, 2008 11:01:31 EDT

Between six to 18 inches of jet fuel floats on top of the water table beneath Kirtland Air Force Base, N.M, and has spread to nearby Albuquerque due to leakage from a corroded underground fuel pipe (continued).

Now I am a gambling man, and that's one sentence that's going to make me walk past the water fountain and become a Poland Spring man, especially when I read this:

If ingested, a blend of water and jet fuel would be toxic and even trace amounts could cause cancer, said Michael Jess, a professor at the University of Nebraska’s Water Center.

Admittedly Dr. Jess is from Nebraska. You know what the 'N' on their helmet stands for? 'Nowledge. LOL, give me those ribs...

I must give credit to Col. Robert "Junior" Suminsby, who actually did a heck of a job communicating the facts. He's got some strong crisis communications chops:

“We knew the first question was going to be: What are you going to do about it?” Suminsby said. “Until we secured the funding for the additional wells and the remediation effort we didn’t have an answer for that question.”

That's the 100 percent correct answer, which was much better said than the initial base message:

"We decided it was better not to scare people right away."

Not to give him a free pass, Junior did provide one cringeworthy line:

“There’s an old saying out here that whiskey's for drinking and water is for fighting so we expected a certain amount of controversy on this,” Suminsby said.

As an expert on being an Air Force wiseass, take it from me, Junior, there's a time and a place for humor: and a potentially tainted water supply is not the time to break out the cowboy diplomacy.

In conclusion, I bet you can guess who I would love blame this all on...if I could only make the facts fit the case. Rest assured, I'll remain vigilant as I pursue the smoking gun...DEVELOPING...

Good Things DO Happen!

You know how some times in life the worst people always seem to get over? (Sec. Gates, you're doing so well, why this???)  You know what I'm talking about?  For some reason, the Air Force really hammered this possibility home.  Multiple times.  Over and over again.  To the point it was almost insulting (Not as insulting as how fabricated that story is, UGH-Ed.)

Thankfully, my faith in humanity is restored as the first female Thunderbird pilot, Maj. Nicole "FiFi" Malachowski (Hell of a story behind that call sign), earned a White House fellowship!

As an aside, the White House Fellowship is as big as it gets.  My Air Force idol, Lt. Gen. Frank Klotz, was a fellow after he was a Rhodes Scholar.  My State Department idol, Colin Powell, was also a Fellow.  The program is truly a murder's row of leaders.

I had the pleasure of taking Nicole and her fellow Thunderbirds to an Albuquerque Isotopes ball game when they came out to Kirtland for the 2006 Air Show.  She was first class, a beauty outside and in, as she gracefully answered all my questions asinine ("Would you get fired if you flew your F-16 through the Gateway Arch?")  



She had a touching story about an old friend from Long Island that passed away too young, and was incredibly down to Earth for such a groundbreaking woman and officer.

Way to go, FiFi!  You keep making your nation proud.

Dancing

There's nothing overly remarkable about this, but I found it strangely captivating. Enjoy.

Giga-What?

Gigapan, a photographic technology created as a collaboration between Carnegie Mellon and NASA, was deployed at Yankee Stadium for th July 4 tilt between the Yanks and Red Sox (image here).

According to Sports Illustrated, users can magnify any detail from the facade of the new Yankee Stadium beyond leftfield to a fan with a Cracker Jack box. The photo was taken with a robotic camera over the course of 10 minutes and consists of 124 frames stitched together.

Here is my favorite part of the shot:

Fortunately, I didn't have to sit through a rain delay and watch my beloved Yanks get waxed by the Sox that day (the Yanks went on to beat them on the 5th and 6th, for the record) and actually made a tidy profit on the game. Thank you, StubHub!

Breaking the Century Mark

Dear Readers,

Yesterday we reached a major milestone, surpassing 100 posts on this, my passion project. I want to thank the dozens of you that take the time to read this and hope that we grow together as we strive for 1,000 posts! If you keep reading, I'll continue my unabashed commitment to celebrating the First Amendment.

Now as I continue to develop and refine www.morganobrien.com, I do harbor one gripe. I wish that folks would quit ducking interview requests. Like this person (who will remain unnamed), from Kirtland Air Force Base that received an email from me on June 30 and proceeded to check out the site without ever so much as acknowledging my request. I'm beginning to take this personally.



Undaunted, I remain steadfast. God bless you, dear readers and God Bless the U.S. of A (and the Yankees).

Yours,
Morgan

Captain Morgan Was Real, Damnit

I read on AOL today that "Captain Morgan was real"

Tell me something I didn't know. In addition to this:
-----
Captain Morgan
The real Captain Morgan never made a drop of rum--the brand was launched in the U.S. in 1983--but he did drink himself to death after a depraved life of piracy. Captain Henry Morgan razed cities, tortured locals into giving up their gold, and sexually assaulted women during the 1671 sacking of Panama City. Today, the rum named in his honor is the world's third-best seller, behind Bacardi and Tanduay.
------
There's also Captain Morgan 2.0:

Now if you told me that there was a pirate named "Colonel Dickhead," then I'd be impressed...

In Memoriam, 7 RDF Troops Killed In Darfur

I read a sad bit of news today about the deaths of 7 troops of the Rwandan Defence Forces supporting a UN mission in Darfur.

7 peacekeepers killed in ambush in Darfur
By MOHAMED OSMAN and MAGGIE MICHAEL – 2 hours ago
KHARTOUM, Sudan (AP) — In a brazen attack on horseback and from SUVs mounted with anti-aircraft weapons, some 200 gumen ambushed peacekeepers from a joint U.N.-African Union force in Sudan's Darfur region, killing seven in fierce battles that lasted more than two hours, U.N. officials said Wednesday. (continued)

Typically, this news would be another blip on the radar screen, but I had the honor and pleasure of serving on a team responsible for transporting a number of RDF troops back almost exactly 2 years ago (story here). We didn't have much interaction with them, but language and culture barriers aside, their troops were no different than ours, proud and playful and anxious about deploying into the unknown. It was remarkable to see how far Rwanda had come in the 11 years since the genocide.



I hope these seven men are remembered as heroes in their native land. They were standing up to the crime that destroyed their own country, nobly attempting to prevent these heinous acts from occurring again on African soil.



Photo Credit to Brad Church, a Hell of a photographer and even better Airman.

Support the Stache!

Support the Stache...Vote Giambi!!!

 (I only voted for David Wright because he's from NY.  You wouldn't believe that story Matt Basler has about him.  Corey Hart has the coolest name...I wonder what song plays when he comes to the plate).

YESSSSSSSSS!!!

PWNED!!!!!!!!

Brett Gardner for ROY/MVP/Cy Young!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm anxiously awaiting his Yankeeography. Can we vote him for the All-Star Game?

.219 Batting Average Does Not an All Star Make

Come on, Tito--this is ridiculous; your guy's not batting his weight. You're telling me that Mr. .120 in June deserves a slot more than Jorge Posada?

* Update: I'm now told that the players voted Tek to the squad. That's pretty sickening, especially since these are the same players that voted Jeter and A-Rod as among the most overrated players in the game. For all the crap the fans get about making bad calls, it is now apparent that players are too stupid to have the vote.

http://mlb.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=123660

O'er the land of the free...

Happy Birthday, Ronnie Kovic

Good Night, America!

The best.

Hell Yeah!

Pictures of the Day, July 4
Michael Kamber for The New York Times
Published: 20080704
Re-enlistment in Baghdad

Cubs Hero Rick Monday

On This Day....

Ok, now beat the damn Red Sox.

My All-Star Picks

All-Star balloting results will come tomorrow, amid much anticipation of the game's return to the Bronx after 32 years, and the fourth time in Yankee Stadium's illustrious tenure. This historic exhibition comes as another milestone in Yankee Stadium's last season and knowing the Yankees, it's going to be a major spectacle; an event to behold.

However, I look forward to the game with some trepidation. As always, the annual rite of fan balloting has again challenged my faith in Democracy as knuckledragging chowderheads from New England are so blinded by their Messianic devotion to the Red Sox that they've stuffed the ballot box, potentially costing more deserving players spots in the starting lineup.

Before I lay out my picks for the Junior and Senior circuits, I should explain my philosophy: I am a Yankee fan and recognize that these spots absolutely must consider past performance and first-half stats when casting votes. I also see value in sentimentality. We always forget that this is an exhibition, and even my remarks above show that yes, even I may take it too seriously.

From a purely PR standpoint, the game must serve as a platform to highlight the game's brand names, and exploit outreach potential to an international audience and the casual fan.

My argument is that picking the teams should be both an art and a science and should be fun most of all. Guys like Josh Hamilton should be no-brainers to make the team because of their breakout seasons and unquestionable statistical excellence over 80-some games. At the same time, I'd be hard pressed to argue against Papi and Manny making the team because of what they mean to baseball, even considering a little drop off in performance and injuries. Likewise, Jeter should always make the squad.

As the game will occur at Yankee Stadium, there should be a "Home-Team Advantage" when all else is equal. I'd begrudgingly agree to this if the game were at Fenway or Wrigley or Tropicana Field (alright, maybe not the Trop).

Also, if you want to see where my picks compares with "the experts," here's what ESPN thinks (link).



American League (Leaders in Parentheses)

C- Jorge Posada-Yankees (Mauer)
This is going to be the one position where I invoke the "Home-Team Advantage". In truth, Joe Mauer should get the knod over Posada, Varitek and Pudge. But if we're going to pick a guy to play catcher in the All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium, there's no comparison between Posada and Varitek.

1B- Justin Morneau- Twins (Youkilis)
As much as I'd love to include Giambi and his stache, I think his story's a little too tainted to thrust on the stage here. Morneau's an MVP and a terriffic hitter, and takes a little of the sting out of keeping Mauer from the starting lineup.

2B- Ian Kinsler- Texas (Pedroia)
Come on. Kinsler's the league leader in batting, has an OPS almost 100 points higher than Pedroia, has more home runs than Pedroia, steals more bases more efficiently than Pedroia. It's a shame Kinsler didn't get drafted by the Red Sox, he might actually make the team. Honorable Mention: Placido Polanco.

3B- Alex Rodriguez- Yankees (leader)

His recent interest in Kaballah be damned, A-Rod's the best regular season offensive player in the game today.

SS- Derek Jeter- Yankees (leader)

There's no question that Captain Clutch belongs in the starting lineup at the All-Star Game--this is just another opportunity for him to shine under the bright lights of The House that Ruth Built. I'd like to see him break .300 before he steps to the plate with the familiar sounds of Bob Sheppard; nonethless, he deserves the call.

OF- Josh Hamilton-Rangers (Leader)
Triple Crown contender brings a great story about his phoenix-like rise and an incredible God-given skillset to the game.

OF- Grady Sizemore- Indians (Ichiro)
I'm a huge Carl Crawford fan, and think that Tampa Bay deserves recognition for their impressive first half. That said, Sizemore's the league leader in HR, could be hitting for better average, but gets on base at a .370 clip and bears about a .900 OPS. I think Ichiro's a great choice for the international aspect, but the league HR leader has the potential to become a matinee idol for the next decade.

OF-Manny (Leader)
Manny's the best hitter of the generation. His numbers might not be there, but he deserves the knod under the past performance.

DH- Big Papi-Red Sox
Yeah, he's hurt and has played only half the season thus far. That said, his past performance certainly merits a spot. I can't argue that. Papi's also sitting out the game, so I would probably plug Milton Bradley in here.

SP- Cliff Lee-Indians (no vote)
Lee had a stratospheric start, and has come back to Earth some, but continues to lead the league in wins and ERA, and would be hard to argue against. I don't think I could even argue for Moose here, although he certainly deserves a spot on the squad, and should have about 14 wins at this point.

Others:
Mussina, Mariano

National League (Leaders in Parentheses)

C- Brian McCann-Braves (Soto-Cubs)

The always impressive Atlanta front office again proving their smarts, as Saltalamacchia has shuttled between the majors and AAA while McCann has thrived. Soto's having a nice season, but is certainly benefitting from Chicago-style voting.

1B- Lance Berkman- Astros (Leader)
Adrian Gonzales is having a heck of a season, too, but Berkman's nearly untouchable.

2B- Chase Utley-Phillies (Leader)
This is my toughest choice because, I don't think you go wrong with Uggla here. In fact, if Uggla "looked the part" (having a eternal five o'clock shadow, weighed 245 and chewed tobacco), he'd be a great choice for the DH role.

3B- Chipper Jones- Braves (Leader)

Deservedly so. Go get 'em Larry!

SS- Hanley Ramirez- Marlins

Notably, the Sawx traded Hanley as part of the Beckett trade. I think that's a great example of one that worked for both teams. Beckett's already an all-time post season performer and Hanley's becoming a perennial MVP candidate.

In a similar vein, I'm going to write about the Volquez-Hamilton trade this week.

OF- Ryan Braun- Brewers (Soriano)

The pride of "The U" is raking and deserves a slot on the squad. I'm a huge Soriano fan, and would love him to return to the Stadium, but Braun looks great.

OF- Junior Griffey- Reds (Leader)

Junior deserves the honorary nod here, it's just tough to believe that he's old enough to merit this treatment. He's a 13-time All-Star. That's amazing--where's the time gone?

OF- Fukudome- Cubs (Leader)
In the spirit of the game's international outreach and the Fukudo-mania that'd hit Chicagoland, I think you've got find a spot for the NL's Rookie of the Year front runner.

DH- Albert Pujols (no vote)

He's a marquis name and the face of baseball in a great town, he belongs in the game. I would also consider Uggla's bat for this slot, as well.

SP- Brandon Webb
I don't think you go wrong with Volquez or (SI coverboy) Lincecum here, either. Danny Haren's having a hell of the season as well.

-----

Regardless of who starts, I'd argue that a discussion of snubs actually serves as a good tool to drum up extra interest in the game.

Sunday night, after the last roster spot votes are announced, I'll chime in with my choices there, too.

Yanks making me flip my lid!

Despite the fact that the Yanks made a bunch of bums like Kevin Millwood and Oliver Perez look like Drysdale and Koufax over the past few days, even the bumbling New York Americans will look sharp over July Fourth Weekend because of these:

According to ESPN's UniWatch, all MLB squads will sport these hats over the weekend and again on September 11.  This is part of an MLB initiative honoring troops returning home from Iraq and Afghanistan.  

And since I love our troops and now look like this:

(I now find myself having my first bad hair days in 11 years, and actually enjoy wearing a cap from time to time); I have ordered mine (size 7 1/2, backordered until Friday).

For additional details and some fair and pointed questions, visit the UniWatch blog here.

Go Yanks, beat the Sawx!  And happy birthday, proud Long Islander Ronnie Kovic!