All in the name

What a Dick (literally)

Sometimes, everything comes together. The perfect crime, the perfect response, the perfect mugshot, the perfect name and the perfect double entendre:

Naked Home Invader Nabbed After Senior Citizen Grabs His 'Cahoochies'

An 80-year old woman grabbed a naked man named Michael Dick by the crotch and gave him a good squeeze; police nabbed him a few minutes later.

PORTLAND, Ore.) - It seems some criminals have a problem of underestimating their victims. Police say that today at 6:30 AM, an 88-year old woman in her bathrobe was confronted by a naked man who had entered her home in the 2500 block of SE 287th Avenue through an unlocked sliding door.

Deputy Paul H. (Mac) McRedmond with the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office, says the man, saying nothing, backed her into the living room of the house and pushed her face down onto a chair.

"Before whatever plans the suspect might have had, the woman reached behind her and grabbed the man by the crotch, 'giving him a good squeeze', McRedmond said. (story here)

Thankfully, the victim is alright, just a little shaken up.

The only thing that would make this story better is if I found out if this perp is related to the biggest Dick I know.

Finally, let it be known from this day forward, any article that includes the word 'cahoochies' in the headline will earn a featured mention on morganobrien.com.


Photo: Multnomah County Sheriff's Office