During the past decade, my distinct lack of hair (especially during three of the past four years, which were also marked by a distinct lack of humidity), I never really had much need for a cap.

Going to work in the morning, I'd wear my standard uniform cover. Working out, specifically in Albuquerque, sweat would evaporate before it became a nuisance. But that all changed when I came home to Long Island.

Upon commencing my return engagement with the Empire State, I've grown my hair out and returned to the annoying stickieness tied to living on a land mass surrounded by water. The equation is quite simple:

Hair + Humidity = Sweat + Annoyed Morgan

Hair gettin' in my face, sticking to my forehead, sweat getting in my eyes; this is a recipe for disaster. And seeing as I will not cut my hair out of a sense of pride (and the fact that it's yet another thing I can do the Col. Voldemort cannot, add that to actually running the run portion of the PT test...freaking cheater), I'm left to find out how to fix this.

Do I go sweatband? Man-dana? I mean, there's a time and place for both of those things. However, I'm an American first and foremost. I love apple pie and Midwestern girls. And above all else, I love the game of baseball.

As the official hat of Major League Baseball, New Era's 59FIFTY is an institution. It's like a Chevy or a Nathan's hot dog. In fact, New Era recently sent shockwaves through the hearts of purists when they reengineered the lids to better perform in game situations. Upgrades included a conversion from wool to an all polyester design, a black sweatband to hide stains and a black undervisor to reduce glare.

Head Cover Performance in Action

Alas, I sweat like a Yeti, and even with the new specs, the 59FIFTY doesn't cut it when I'm working out. Thankfully, a few years ago, New Era, in a shining example of capitalism, introduced a cap designed for batting practice, the 39THIRTY. According to New Era, like me, the 39THIRTY is built for performance. This is a match made in heaven.

From the New Era Web site:

The 39THIRTY is the true fan cap. With its stretch-comfort fit, the 39THIRTY comes in either a performance mesh fabric or wool-stretch material for anyone or any lifestyle.

The 39THIRTY, while fitted, has an elastic band that allows for some flexibility. So while Air Force Morgan rocked a 7 3/8; Freebird Morgan has to go 7 1/2. The 39THIRTY gives me both, as I fit in the Medium-Large, and it's snug and comfortable.

In my capacity as the consummate performer, I enjoy the performance mesh fabric, which is perfect for sopping up my sweat during intense training sessions like my interval workouts. Did I mention that in the morning if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now.

I have to admit, I bought the Yankees 39THIRTY, but I had to hold my nose when picking it up at the Lids store in Times Square the other day because its very existence rips my sentimental heart out. The interlocking NY should only appear on the famed navy blue caps of the NY Yankees. Save the alternate uniform gimmicks for expansion teams like the Mets.

I've also betrayed my Yankee pride and allowed myself to enjoy the caps of non-Yankee clubs. My personal favorites include the Yankee-themed AL All-Star cap (modeled by yours truly above and shown below), as well as the TB Rays 2008 version (shown above) There still remain some teams (Boston, Los Angeles Angels of Orange County-Anaheim-Sherman Oaks, Los Mets) that I'll never rock.